Days 9 ten and 11

I wonder how to put this as evasively as possible:

I sang "Cocoon" by Bjork all day today.

You don't need to know what that means. If I can delicately express this, it's going to be a rough week. And if my phone rang this evening I would have answered it, probably.

It's odd watching as your perception of what your future is changes while your present stays the same. Seeing things you thought were permanent shift and alter on the horizon while your heart stays in the same place. I'm still in love in this moment, where I'm eating stupid chocolate covered pretzels on the bare mattress of my youth. I'm still thinking about someone who isn't around but in the mind of my future I'm questioning more and more.