Went to the bank in the morning. The teller wanted me to sign up for an unlimited account but didn't say it to me, he grabbed my notebook and took up 2 pages writing what it was and why I should do it. I didn't want to be rude and just grab the book back and was also cracking up too hard on the inside to tell him I can hear just fine.
Later at the dentist the hygienist did the exact same thing.
I had an argument with a parking attendant with notes.
I feel like Buster Keaton, all exaggerated eye, head and hand movements.
Found myself getting more frustrated when unable to communicate with friends. Started to develop a rudimentary sign language- it's interesting the things that are established first, that are most important or at least used most often; "coffee" "ice cream" "my house" "your house" "anxious" "tomorrow" "yesterday" etc. So now I can ask someone to go for "coffee tomorrow", basically. That's about it.
Went to a concert- first time going out since I stopped speaking. Everyone was super kind and the nature of the show was that between acts people would sort of drift outside into the parking lot, which had enough light to read what I wanted to say and no loud music. Got along ok. Apprehensive about going to a bar. May try and avoid that one for now.
Despite it being a bit or a rocky month in terms of anxiety and panic attacks and what not, the anxiety completely left when I stopped speaking.
...except for one panic attack in the evening. Not sure what that was all about.
Day 4 was the first day I went without saying one single word and after awhile I felt like even if I wanted to speak I couldn't.
Still, was a really nice day.
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